Is this really who I am?

Well, fitting blogging in is a bit harder than I imagined. Now reading all these links and blogs is way to easy.

Today was a milestone day. The littlest one, managed to climb all the way back down the steps by herself. Cool huh? She's been going up for a while but just as she reached the very top step of 14 total (one landing in the middle) she paused, turned around with a huge grin and gingerly reached her piggy toes back down to feel for that last step she had just conquered!

How cute it was. Mommy at the top , Daddy at the bottom and all of us holding our breath! Big sister joined in the cheering session half way through. The 3 big brothers were off somewhere together enjoying something better apparently as they did not come when called to see the big event.

Seems like the older I get the more I enjoy these little milestones and the more precious they each become. Especially with these last two. Who by all rights should not even be here but are. What a gift from God that is!

Man plans, God laughts or so I am told.

He surely must laugh every time he thinks about what I thought my life needed to be full, content, happy, whatever. It was not 6 kids ranging in age from 24 years to 14 months!

I try never to tell anyone I have six kids unless I am looking for a reaction (those are kind of fun) rather I tell them I have 2, um sets of 3, or really more like, 3 sets of 2. "just 2 babies" I've been heard to say "oh, well , and two middle school age ones, and 2 grown and out of the home. . ."

Never quite sure what mode I'm in most of the time. Lots of my friends have only grown or high school age kids and are quite frankly giddy to be "almost done" the grind parenting can sometimes be. Their giddiness makes me gag on my plateful. Oh dear. The "car pool" gang is who I see most and most think I relate to the best. I disagree. They are all so busy running here and there and keeping up with so many "lessons/games" (don't even get me started with that one!) that this sleep deprived, nursing mother of two, age 3 and less, just can't relate. But then there are the newest "friends" in my life, those newest first time moms or Moms of preschoolers who really do know so much more than I and would love to tell me what I should try next. Pu-leeasee! And then when I try to realte to those mega super strength Moms of 5 or 7 or 10 children (they never call them kids btw) I just cringe at my inability to relate to how much they love their big family!

What a huge mess I am. I do love my family, just in pieces I think!

Did I mention our granson is 4 and a half and is older than those 2 newest babies? He played soccer this year for the first time and his Daddy and Mommy would love for our 3 and a half year old, "Uncle Emory" to join him next year. Are they insane? I tried with everything in me and only made it to one of the Grandsons games this season and thought I was doing well.

And when our mutual pediatrican says to me in a moment of weakness in their office after a particularly trying week of illness, "Mrs. A. You are doing so well for being an older Mom and having to deal with all of this", I just want to curl up and die right then and there! I guess my daughter in law is the young Mrs. A. these days and what pray tell does that make my MIL??

ah well, you folks don't know me very well yet and I'm sure this post is coming across as very whiney, but as I feel very whiney at the moment perhaps it is a bit to real . . .However, I do love my kids, love my husband, love my life and all the privelidges and adventures it affords me and most importantly love my God who gave it all to me to because He must have known what was best for me even when I did not! Much easier to fully rely on God when there is so little of myself to rely on I'll give you that much!

Perhaps I'll recall that in the morning (okay later morning than it already is) as I try to bath, shower, dress and pack up all 7 of us for the 8:30am worship hour tomorrow morning! And here's a question. Why do the older folks who prefer traditional worship over contempory worship get to go to church at 11am instead of 8:30am?

I am a certifiable mess!! Happy to have the college age one home for a week though, so 7 is okay for now, but boy will 6 look good next week too!